the message i just sent to XM ... i'll never get a response

hello!

i love my XM radio. i take it with me everywhere. how i used to go on long road trips without it, i have no idea.

however, while i was listening yesterday afternoon, during a quick "station identification," channel 22 played a mcdonald's commercial. sure, it was maybe 2 seconds long, but it was clearly a plug for mcdonald's ... and it clearly cut in to XM's "100% commercial free music" promise.

i don't like mcdonald's, and i don't associate anything positive with that company. it probably paid a hell of a lot of money to get even a short ad on an XM station, but as an XM listener, i couldn't help but feel ripped off. don't XM customers pay a hell of a lot of money to listen to commercial-free music? i guess we don't pay quite as much. i don't plan on cancelling my service or anything, but now i'm not so excited about paying even more for XM Online.

maybe it was a fluke. maybe XM is selling out. maybe i'm just pissed off that the patriots lost to the fucking steelers ... the steelers! what kind of a world do we live in? i don't know. i just wanted to express my disappointment in a short note that i'm sure no one will read. but it makes me feel better nonetheless. :)

thanks!
-jody

frankly, i don't enjoy being this close to you

i can't eat while i'm driving. that's why driving thru isn't an option when you're in my car ... well, that's one of the reasons why. the other is that you're messy with ketchup and greasy food. yes, you.

i also can't sleep on a plane, which explains ... well, absolutely nothing. now i know that i can't read in airports either. why? i'll tell you:

a.) i might see someone i know. i could be in AMA, CHS, FPO, OGG, MEM, RFC ... hell, it could be TKK (ha!) ... regardless, location doesn't matter. there's a familiar face somewhere, and i'm not going to miss it. for example: there goes larry the contractor. i know you don't believe me, but it's true. onward ...

b.) just about everyone is attractive from a distance and i want to know if they still look that good at fifteen feet ... 93% of the time they don't. it really is an amazing phenomenon, tho. that guy back there? totally hot. up here? eh. it's mostly disappointing, but if you spend an extended period of time looking at people who are far away, you'll convince yourself that this is a damn beautiful city ... except for that woman who's trying to run in those shoes ... and that guy, who ... come on ... how can anyone possibly be that goofy?

c.) andrew stone, please report to doorway B3.

d.) andrew stone, please report to doorway B3. this is your final call.

e.) delta flight 5738 paging passenger andrew stone. your flight is ready for departure. please report to doorway B3 immediately.

f.) people are watching me. i'm sure of it. if i'm passing the time looking at them, then there's no way i'm invisible. i can't be ignorant to that. i once read that everyone is someone else's weirdo. i can't be ignorant to that either.

g.) here i come! hold on! i'm here!

h.) sorry, mr. stone. you're too late.

i.) what?

j.) your plane is gone. i'll help you make other arrangements ... and i'm going to personally walk you to the gate.

k.) as aaron always points out, standby is a game. i'm just glad i beat the bald guy in flip flops and don't have to spend the nite in EWR. marc says it smells like feet there ... denise doesn't have much to say about it beyond, "i know, i know ... aaron told me so." (she often speaks in rhyme ... or when she shouldn't. hi denise!)

looks like we're boarding. this is the best part. i especially like watching over-traveled people stand in the passengers-traveling-with-small-children-can-board-first line. who's surprised that the guy wearing the texas flag is going to IAH?

yeah, me either.

a pox on us all

contaminated. that's what they say. the british makers of vaccinations managed to either sneeze in a lab they shouldn't have been allowed admittance to in the first place or they brought their kids to work, and ruined it for the rest of us.

i never got a flu shot until i moved to virginia. i let my co-workers talk me into it because they'd pretty well proven that everyone who's transplanted into the commonwealth develops serious allergies ... so when they said, "you need to get a flu shot," i went with it. in the first 6 months that i knew finetta, she went from allergy-free to being allergic to everything from dander to cockroaches.

when spring hits, everything develops a nasty, powdery, yellow film. eugene once said, "you wake up one morning and have to wipe the plant sperm off your car." nice. then he moved to california.

it took a little convincing, but i finally gave in. i will not get a flu shot this year. i'll be a good citizen and somewhat happily step aside so the old people and babies can be vaccinated. that ought to get me some good karma points, right? i'd like to avoid being a dung beetle in my next life if at all possible.

but before i do so, i just want to point out what happened to me two years ago when i didn't get a shot. (i know ... what the heck was i thinking?) without getting into the details, what happened was i got the flu twice ... within three weeks. and the day i started feeling better, i got food poisoning. my manager at the time totally didn't believe me until i came back from texas, and he told me to go home.

experts advise us to wash our hands, cover our faces when we sneeze or cough, and hope against hope that everyone else does the same thing.

i advise us to avoid crowds, work from home, and don't answer the door when the neighbor kids come knocking. actually, i advise us to do that regardless of flu season. it's just good practice.