You're welcome!
November 17, 2008
In Case of Emergency
Now that I'm thinking about it ... You might want to print this out and hang it on the fridge. As I have.
You're welcome!
You're welcome!
Tick Tock
For 13 months I've been journaling my dreams. Many times, the images are very telling of a current life situation. Other times, the dreams are a raw glimpse into my psyche, a look at what makes me tick.
The latter are the portions that I've recently enjoyed sharing with Aaron, and now I'd like to share a short one with you (some go on for pages and pages and pages ... I'll spare you).
Enjoy!
Dinosaurs are attacking my office building. T-Rex teeth keep dropping through the ceiling. My job is to baby-sit the cats, and it's difficult to keep them still. A man who identifies himself as "a senior executive" shows up among the destruction and asks me if our printer works. I tell him that I don't know, but he's welcome to check it out on his own. He walks away and seems pleased, so I assume that, yes, the printer is still online. When it seems like the danger has passed, I pack up the cats and get into the trunk of a car.
That was great fun! If you're lucky I'll share a zombie one next time!
The latter are the portions that I've recently enjoyed sharing with Aaron, and now I'd like to share a short one with you (some go on for pages and pages and pages ... I'll spare you).
Enjoy!
Dinosaurs are attacking my office building. T-Rex teeth keep dropping through the ceiling. My job is to baby-sit the cats, and it's difficult to keep them still. A man who identifies himself as "a senior executive" shows up among the destruction and asks me if our printer works. I tell him that I don't know, but he's welcome to check it out on his own. He walks away and seems pleased, so I assume that, yes, the printer is still online. When it seems like the danger has passed, I pack up the cats and get into the trunk of a car.
That was great fun! If you're lucky I'll share a zombie one next time!
And Another Thing
Part One
Last week, I was driving home from work and discovered that a relatively substantial spider was living in my car. As the sun set and I tried to focus on the road in front of me rather than the arachnid, I saw him wander back and forth and back and forth across my windshield for the full 40-minute commute.
When I first spotted him, my first reaction wasn't panic ... Nor was it elation at the fact that I was suddenly at the mercy of an eight-legged critter that could very well be deadly. I had one simple and immediate thought:
"Denise would totally freak out at this."
And it made me laugh. Denise would totally freak out. She would scream and drop her phone ... And probably her nail polish and eyelash curler. She would bat wildly and without abandon at the poor thing, and if she didn't crush it with a rogue flip flop she'd managed to find in the car, she would spring from the vehicle the moment she got home and order Jim, Chris, Cody or any available human in the general vicinity to kill it instantly.
She would! And she'll admit it! Ask her ...
Anyway, I decided not to bat wildly at anything. I made sure I was aware of the spider's location at all times, and when it approached the lower left side of the window, I blasted the fan; Thereby rerouting him rather quickly. I don't know what I would have done had he decided to crawl onto the visor. I knew that was a possibility, but I had no plan. I probably would have called Denise to scream.
Part Two
As it happens, today was pretty cold. When I left the house for the one and only time I decided to wear a pair of boots that have been in the coat closet for quite some time.
Before putting them on, I turned them upside down and shook them ... I even beat them on the porch railing a bit to dislodge any potential residents. Confident that I was in the clear, I put them on and discovered no trouble whatsoever.
About 15 minutes later, as I was in the car and exiting 295, I felt what I thought was a tiny bit of crawling under my right toe. And what did I do? I thought of Denise and I laughed ... A bit ... It was conclusively not the same kind of laugh I uttered on the day of the spider. It was unsure.
My eyes widened, as the crawling made it's way down my foot.
"Oh my God!" I squealed as I approached the first light ... Which was green. By the second green light I really was laughing (and still squealing), and whatever was in my shoe had migrated to the arch of my foot. Thankfully, the third light was red.
In a rush, I stopped the car, put it in park, hit the button to make my window go down, and wrenched off my shoe. I batted at my foot and shook the boot out the window.
Honestly, I have no idea what the intruder was. I like to think it was some kind of ancient dust ball or a tiny, dead, formerly-crawly thing, but I'll never know for sure.
The light changed, and I made the turn into my destination. In the parking lot, I put my shoe back on and spent a moment laughing at myself ... In a totally freaked out kind of way.
Last week, I was driving home from work and discovered that a relatively substantial spider was living in my car. As the sun set and I tried to focus on the road in front of me rather than the arachnid, I saw him wander back and forth and back and forth across my windshield for the full 40-minute commute.
When I first spotted him, my first reaction wasn't panic ... Nor was it elation at the fact that I was suddenly at the mercy of an eight-legged critter that could very well be deadly. I had one simple and immediate thought:
"Denise would totally freak out at this."
And it made me laugh. Denise would totally freak out. She would scream and drop her phone ... And probably her nail polish and eyelash curler. She would bat wildly and without abandon at the poor thing, and if she didn't crush it with a rogue flip flop she'd managed to find in the car, she would spring from the vehicle the moment she got home and order Jim, Chris, Cody or any available human in the general vicinity to kill it instantly.
She would! And she'll admit it! Ask her ...
Anyway, I decided not to bat wildly at anything. I made sure I was aware of the spider's location at all times, and when it approached the lower left side of the window, I blasted the fan; Thereby rerouting him rather quickly. I don't know what I would have done had he decided to crawl onto the visor. I knew that was a possibility, but I had no plan. I probably would have called Denise to scream.
Part Two
As it happens, today was pretty cold. When I left the house for the one and only time I decided to wear a pair of boots that have been in the coat closet for quite some time.
Before putting them on, I turned them upside down and shook them ... I even beat them on the porch railing a bit to dislodge any potential residents. Confident that I was in the clear, I put them on and discovered no trouble whatsoever.
About 15 minutes later, as I was in the car and exiting 295, I felt what I thought was a tiny bit of crawling under my right toe. And what did I do? I thought of Denise and I laughed ... A bit ... It was conclusively not the same kind of laugh I uttered on the day of the spider. It was unsure.
My eyes widened, as the crawling made it's way down my foot.
"Oh my God!" I squealed as I approached the first light ... Which was green. By the second green light I really was laughing (and still squealing), and whatever was in my shoe had migrated to the arch of my foot. Thankfully, the third light was red.
In a rush, I stopped the car, put it in park, hit the button to make my window go down, and wrenched off my shoe. I batted at my foot and shook the boot out the window.
Honestly, I have no idea what the intruder was. I like to think it was some kind of ancient dust ball or a tiny, dead, formerly-crawly thing, but I'll never know for sure.
The light changed, and I made the turn into my destination. In the parking lot, I put my shoe back on and spent a moment laughing at myself ... In a totally freaked out kind of way.
Glad You're Not Me
I was in the orthodontist's waiting room, sitting just opposite two kids whose combined age probably equalled mine ... At the least, their total came very close.
They were clearly a couple, whispering plans for the afternoon and schedules for semester finals. Meanwhile, I was chatting very loudly with the office staff about the weather and the economy. When they glanced at me, I could totally read "Can you imagine being that old and having braces?" And I was fine with it. I get that look all the time.
After a moment or two of silent contemplation on both sides of the room, the doctor came in and said, "Miranda and Jody, you can come on back." And the boy's face went completely white with surprise ... Until he saw me stand up.
"Oh, man," he said to me, suddenly looking more comfortable in his chair. "My name is Joe! i didn't want to go back there!"
I said that I didn't blame him, and we all had a nice little laugh that bridged the generations.
They were clearly a couple, whispering plans for the afternoon and schedules for semester finals. Meanwhile, I was chatting very loudly with the office staff about the weather and the economy. When they glanced at me, I could totally read "Can you imagine being that old and having braces?" And I was fine with it. I get that look all the time.
After a moment or two of silent contemplation on both sides of the room, the doctor came in and said, "Miranda and Jody, you can come on back." And the boy's face went completely white with surprise ... Until he saw me stand up.
"Oh, man," he said to me, suddenly looking more comfortable in his chair. "My name is Joe! i didn't want to go back there!"
I said that I didn't blame him, and we all had a nice little laugh that bridged the generations.
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