hello!
i love my XM radio. i take it with me everywhere. how i used to go on long road trips without it, i have no idea.
however, while i was listening yesterday afternoon, during a quick "station identification," channel 22 played a mcdonald's commercial. sure, it was maybe 2 seconds long, but it was clearly a plug for mcdonald's ... and it clearly cut in to XM's "100% commercial free music" promise.
i don't like mcdonald's, and i don't associate anything positive with that company. it probably paid a hell of a lot of money to get even a short ad on an XM station, but as an XM listener, i couldn't help but feel ripped off. don't XM customers pay a hell of a lot of money to listen to commercial-free music? i guess we don't pay quite as much. i don't plan on cancelling my service or anything, but now i'm not so excited about paying even more for XM Online.
maybe it was a fluke. maybe XM is selling out. maybe i'm just pissed off that the patriots lost to the fucking steelers ... the steelers! what kind of a world do we live in? i don't know. i just wanted to express my disappointment in a short note that i'm sure no one will read. but it makes me feel better nonetheless. :)
thanks!
-jody
October 31, 2004
October 22, 2004
frankly, i don't enjoy being this close to you
i can't eat while i'm driving. that's why driving thru isn't an option when you're in my car ... well, that's one of the reasons why. the other is that you're messy with ketchup and greasy food. yes, you.
i also can't sleep on a plane, which explains ... well, absolutely nothing. now i know that i can't read in airports either. why? i'll tell you:
a.) i might see someone i know. i could be in AMA, CHS, FPO, OGG, MEM, RFC ... hell, it could be TKK (ha!) ... regardless, location doesn't matter. there's a familiar face somewhere, and i'm not going to miss it. for example: there goes larry the contractor. i know you don't believe me, but it's true. onward ...
b.) just about everyone is attractive from a distance and i want to know if they still look that good at fifteen feet ... 93% of the time they don't. it really is an amazing phenomenon, tho. that guy back there? totally hot. up here? eh. it's mostly disappointing, but if you spend an extended period of time looking at people who are far away, you'll convince yourself that this is a damn beautiful city ... except for that woman who's trying to run in those shoes ... and that guy, who ... come on ... how can anyone possibly be that goofy?
c.) andrew stone, please report to doorway B3.
d.) andrew stone, please report to doorway B3. this is your final call.
e.) delta flight 5738 paging passenger andrew stone. your flight is ready for departure. please report to doorway B3 immediately.
f.) people are watching me. i'm sure of it. if i'm passing the time looking at them, then there's no way i'm invisible. i can't be ignorant to that. i once read that everyone is someone else's weirdo. i can't be ignorant to that either.
g.) here i come! hold on! i'm here!
h.) sorry, mr. stone. you're too late.
i.) what?
j.) your plane is gone. i'll help you make other arrangements ... and i'm going to personally walk you to the gate.
k.) as aaron always points out, standby is a game. i'm just glad i beat the bald guy in flip flops and don't have to spend the nite in EWR. marc says it smells like feet there ... denise doesn't have much to say about it beyond, "i know, i know ... aaron told me so." (she often speaks in rhyme ... or when she shouldn't. hi denise!)
looks like we're boarding. this is the best part. i especially like watching over-traveled people stand in the passengers-traveling-with-small-children-can-board-first line. who's surprised that the guy wearing the texas flag is going to IAH?
yeah, me either.
October 15, 2004
a pox on us all
contaminated. that's what they say. the british makers of vaccinations managed to either sneeze in a lab they shouldn't have been allowed admittance to in the first place or they brought their kids to work, and ruined it for the rest of us.
i never got a flu shot until i moved to virginia. i let my co-workers talk me into it because they'd pretty well proven that everyone who's transplanted into the commonwealth develops serious allergies ... so when they said, "you need to get a flu shot," i went with it. in the first 6 months that i knew finetta, she went from allergy-free to being allergic to everything from dander to cockroaches.
when spring hits, everything develops a nasty, powdery, yellow film. eugene once said, "you wake up one morning and have to wipe the plant sperm off your car." nice. then he moved to california.
it took a little convincing, but i finally gave in. i will not get a flu shot this year. i'll be a good citizen and somewhat happily step aside so the old people and babies can be vaccinated. that ought to get me some good karma points, right? i'd like to avoid being a dung beetle in my next life if at all possible.
but before i do so, i just want to point out what happened to me two years ago when i didn't get a shot. (i know ... what the heck was i thinking?) without getting into the details, what happened was i got the flu twice ... within three weeks. and the day i started feeling better, i got food poisoning. my manager at the time totally didn't believe me until i came back from texas, and he told me to go home.
experts advise us to wash our hands, cover our faces when we sneeze or cough, and hope against hope that everyone else does the same thing.
i advise us to avoid crowds, work from home, and don't answer the door when the neighbor kids come knocking. actually, i advise us to do that regardless of flu season. it's just good practice.
i never got a flu shot until i moved to virginia. i let my co-workers talk me into it because they'd pretty well proven that everyone who's transplanted into the commonwealth develops serious allergies ... so when they said, "you need to get a flu shot," i went with it. in the first 6 months that i knew finetta, she went from allergy-free to being allergic to everything from dander to cockroaches.
when spring hits, everything develops a nasty, powdery, yellow film. eugene once said, "you wake up one morning and have to wipe the plant sperm off your car." nice. then he moved to california.
it took a little convincing, but i finally gave in. i will not get a flu shot this year. i'll be a good citizen and somewhat happily step aside so the old people and babies can be vaccinated. that ought to get me some good karma points, right? i'd like to avoid being a dung beetle in my next life if at all possible.
but before i do so, i just want to point out what happened to me two years ago when i didn't get a shot. (i know ... what the heck was i thinking?) without getting into the details, what happened was i got the flu twice ... within three weeks. and the day i started feeling better, i got food poisoning. my manager at the time totally didn't believe me until i came back from texas, and he told me to go home.
experts advise us to wash our hands, cover our faces when we sneeze or cough, and hope against hope that everyone else does the same thing.
i advise us to avoid crowds, work from home, and don't answer the door when the neighbor kids come knocking. actually, i advise us to do that regardless of flu season. it's just good practice.
October 14, 2004
things we should have been paying attention to all along
“I think a hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.”
-Christopher Reeve
-Christopher Reeve
October 13, 2004
wildfire
ok boys and girls ... get out your #2 pencils. if you use pen, your test won't be graded and 25% of your grade will go straight down the drain.
ready? here we go. question #1:
what's the fastest way to bring estranged college alums back together?
a.) homecoming weekend
b.) class reunion weekend
c.) the announcement that the college president is a complete pedophile.
this isn't intended to be tricky, so don't read too much into it.
got it? great! pencils down.
rumors are so much fun, don't you think? some people don't believe them ... can't believe them ... are totally in shock. others have been waiting for them ... saw them coming at least a summer away ... can't believe how the people who can't believe them didn't see them.
there's a story for each side ... both of them are decades old ...
first you have the abused basketball player, his brother, and at least five other men who live in california and have kept their mouths shut for years. to come to terms with his past, the basketball player writes a book detailing his youth, which is categorized as "fiction."
next is the coach who is an upstanding member of society. he's been the college president for at least two decades and otherwise affiliated with the school for an additional two. he raises money. he builds classrooms. capitalists like him. he keeps to himself and seems to have a fear of women, especially outspoken ones. maybe he's just shy.
wow. it's a good thing i'm not a journalist anymore ... vickie would have fired me by now.
but what do i know? i've also been affiliated with the college for at least two decades. i've heard lots of stories. maybe they're comparable to the egan hall ghost stories. who knows. besides, the board of directors is behind him 100% ... "in the long run, the truth will prevail." how can you not trust someone who has so much to lose? they must be on the right side.
i just hope that during the two full days the board and the president took to respond initially they considered the foundation, heritage, and history of the school rather than their own political and social reputations. maybe they adjourned to the serenity of the chapel to think things through before coming out with, "[The allegations] are not true."
what would sister damien say? you're absolutely right ... forgiveness. she would. but that would be the second thing she'd say.
ready? here we go. question #1:
what's the fastest way to bring estranged college alums back together?
a.) homecoming weekend
b.) class reunion weekend
c.) the announcement that the college president is a complete pedophile.
this isn't intended to be tricky, so don't read too much into it.
got it? great! pencils down.
rumors are so much fun, don't you think? some people don't believe them ... can't believe them ... are totally in shock. others have been waiting for them ... saw them coming at least a summer away ... can't believe how the people who can't believe them didn't see them.
there's a story for each side ... both of them are decades old ...
first you have the abused basketball player, his brother, and at least five other men who live in california and have kept their mouths shut for years. to come to terms with his past, the basketball player writes a book detailing his youth, which is categorized as "fiction."
next is the coach who is an upstanding member of society. he's been the college president for at least two decades and otherwise affiliated with the school for an additional two. he raises money. he builds classrooms. capitalists like him. he keeps to himself and seems to have a fear of women, especially outspoken ones. maybe he's just shy.
wow. it's a good thing i'm not a journalist anymore ... vickie would have fired me by now.
but what do i know? i've also been affiliated with the college for at least two decades. i've heard lots of stories. maybe they're comparable to the egan hall ghost stories. who knows. besides, the board of directors is behind him 100% ... "in the long run, the truth will prevail." how can you not trust someone who has so much to lose? they must be on the right side.
i just hope that during the two full days the board and the president took to respond initially they considered the foundation, heritage, and history of the school rather than their own political and social reputations. maybe they adjourned to the serenity of the chapel to think things through before coming out with, "[The allegations] are not true."
what would sister damien say? you're absolutely right ... forgiveness. she would. but that would be the second thing she'd say.
October 3, 2004
stuck at work
the experts at about.com have this to tell us about the IAC valve:
The purpose of the Idle Control Valve (IAC) valve assembly is to control engine idle speed, while preventing stalls due to changes in engine load. The IAC valve, mounted in the throttle body, controls bypass air around the throttle valve.
what practical experience tells us is that a stuck IAC valve causes your car to not run in a manner that is consistent with an exploded fuel pump. it also tells us that it is impossible to diagnose a stuck IAC valve until it leaves you stranded in the parking lot of an office building you occupy only twice a week whose address you don't know because your permanent desk is in the highwoods complex, which is 15 miles away and has an address that you know.
i've already noted it, but i'm going back because it's a very important point. when your IAC valve is working improperly, everyone is going to tell you that the fault is with the fuel pump. even Gene, the tow truck guy with the tattoo on his neck and party lite catalog in his truck, turns the key and says, "yeah. that's the fuel pump." you're actually going to be glad that the car doesn't start when Gene tries it because until that point, no one believed you when you told them your car was having ignition issues.
only moments later, Gene will prove himself to be slightly less helpful when he tells you that the ride to the dealership might jostle the car enough that it'll start when you get there.
fortunately, and you'll find it somewhat disturbing, when you arrive at universal and John the service manager is trying to leave for the day, your car continues to not start. this is when you try to persuade Gene and John to sign your roadside assistance envelope. they don't, but John assures you that if the car starts the following morning, he won't refuse to fix anything and send you on your way only to be stranded another day. you give him the look that agnes used to give you when you were a kid, but suspect it isn't as intimidating without the glasses. he gives you his card and says, "it's probably the fuel pump."
you're fine with it being the fuel pump because the fuel pump is covered in your extended warranty. so is the ignition switch. unfortunately, the IAC valve isn't listed, and John, who also promised to handle your account personally, has his teammate Lance tell you.
oh well. now you just have to wait a little longer to buy that camera you've been eyeing for the last month. but it's all good ... peace of mind. and there's still plenty of time for the fuel pump to go.
The purpose of the Idle Control Valve (IAC) valve assembly is to control engine idle speed, while preventing stalls due to changes in engine load. The IAC valve, mounted in the throttle body, controls bypass air around the throttle valve.
what practical experience tells us is that a stuck IAC valve causes your car to not run in a manner that is consistent with an exploded fuel pump. it also tells us that it is impossible to diagnose a stuck IAC valve until it leaves you stranded in the parking lot of an office building you occupy only twice a week whose address you don't know because your permanent desk is in the highwoods complex, which is 15 miles away and has an address that you know.
i've already noted it, but i'm going back because it's a very important point. when your IAC valve is working improperly, everyone is going to tell you that the fault is with the fuel pump. even Gene, the tow truck guy with the tattoo on his neck and party lite catalog in his truck, turns the key and says, "yeah. that's the fuel pump." you're actually going to be glad that the car doesn't start when Gene tries it because until that point, no one believed you when you told them your car was having ignition issues.
only moments later, Gene will prove himself to be slightly less helpful when he tells you that the ride to the dealership might jostle the car enough that it'll start when you get there.
fortunately, and you'll find it somewhat disturbing, when you arrive at universal and John the service manager is trying to leave for the day, your car continues to not start. this is when you try to persuade Gene and John to sign your roadside assistance envelope. they don't, but John assures you that if the car starts the following morning, he won't refuse to fix anything and send you on your way only to be stranded another day. you give him the look that agnes used to give you when you were a kid, but suspect it isn't as intimidating without the glasses. he gives you his card and says, "it's probably the fuel pump."
you're fine with it being the fuel pump because the fuel pump is covered in your extended warranty. so is the ignition switch. unfortunately, the IAC valve isn't listed, and John, who also promised to handle your account personally, has his teammate Lance tell you.
oh well. now you just have to wait a little longer to buy that camera you've been eyeing for the last month. but it's all good ... peace of mind. and there's still plenty of time for the fuel pump to go.
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