October 15, 2004

a pox on us all

contaminated. that's what they say. the british makers of vaccinations managed to either sneeze in a lab they shouldn't have been allowed admittance to in the first place or they brought their kids to work, and ruined it for the rest of us.

i never got a flu shot until i moved to virginia. i let my co-workers talk me into it because they'd pretty well proven that everyone who's transplanted into the commonwealth develops serious allergies ... so when they said, "you need to get a flu shot," i went with it. in the first 6 months that i knew finetta, she went from allergy-free to being allergic to everything from dander to cockroaches.

when spring hits, everything develops a nasty, powdery, yellow film. eugene once said, "you wake up one morning and have to wipe the plant sperm off your car." nice. then he moved to california.

it took a little convincing, but i finally gave in. i will not get a flu shot this year. i'll be a good citizen and somewhat happily step aside so the old people and babies can be vaccinated. that ought to get me some good karma points, right? i'd like to avoid being a dung beetle in my next life if at all possible.

but before i do so, i just want to point out what happened to me two years ago when i didn't get a shot. (i know ... what the heck was i thinking?) without getting into the details, what happened was i got the flu twice ... within three weeks. and the day i started feeling better, i got food poisoning. my manager at the time totally didn't believe me until i came back from texas, and he told me to go home.

experts advise us to wash our hands, cover our faces when we sneeze or cough, and hope against hope that everyone else does the same thing.

i advise us to avoid crowds, work from home, and don't answer the door when the neighbor kids come knocking. actually, i advise us to do that regardless of flu season. it's just good practice.



3 comments:

Anonymous said...

So patriotic of you to not get the flu shot. You and George W. should be rewarded! I feel like I'm doing my part as well by not getting one (Does it count even if I NEVER get one??? I want to be patriotic too!!!)

Darn those Brits for screwing up the flu shot!! They already have horrible food....and now we have to put up with horrible vaccines as well?? What is this world coming to?

-Val

Anonymous said...

I'm SO sorry about that Thanksgiving. I certainly hope you didn't get as sick as I did when I disappeared upstairs and didn't come down for a day or two. I still don't know what it was - maybe it was the flu. It still won't convince me to get a flu shot either.

---Jason X

Anonymous said...

hah. i got my flu shot before anyone knew there was going to be a shortage ! so - perhaps i can breathe on the rest of you and pass on the immunities... or shake hands... or maybe not. just stay inside and listen to the politicians.

mom