stuck at work

the experts at about.com have this to tell us about the IAC valve:

The purpose of the Idle Control Valve (IAC) valve assembly is to control engine idle speed, while preventing stalls due to changes in engine load. The IAC valve, mounted in the throttle body, controls bypass air around the throttle valve.

what practical experience tells us is that a stuck IAC valve causes your car to not run in a manner that is consistent with an exploded fuel pump. it also tells us that it is impossible to diagnose a stuck IAC valve until it leaves you stranded in the parking lot of an office building you occupy only twice a week whose address you don't know because your permanent desk is in the highwoods complex, which is 15 miles away and has an address that you know.

i've already noted it, but i'm going back because it's a very important point. when your IAC valve is working improperly, everyone is going to tell you that the fault is with the fuel pump. even Gene, the tow truck guy with the tattoo on his neck and party lite catalog in his truck, turns the key and says, "yeah. that's the fuel pump." you're actually going to be glad that the car doesn't start when Gene tries it because until that point, no one believed you when you told them your car was having ignition issues.

only moments later, Gene will prove himself to be slightly less helpful when he tells you that the ride to the dealership might jostle the car enough that it'll start when you get there.

fortunately, and you'll find it somewhat disturbing, when you arrive at universal and John the service manager is trying to leave for the day, your car continues to not start. this is when you try to persuade Gene and John to sign your roadside assistance envelope. they don't, but John assures you that if the car starts the following morning, he won't refuse to fix anything and send you on your way only to be stranded another day. you give him the look that agnes used to give you when you were a kid, but suspect it isn't as intimidating without the glasses. he gives you his card and says, "it's probably the fuel pump."

you're fine with it being the fuel pump because the fuel pump is covered in your extended warranty. so is the ignition switch. unfortunately, the IAC valve isn't listed, and John, who also promised to handle your account personally, has his teammate Lance tell you.

oh well. now you just have to wait a little longer to buy that camera you've been eyeing for the last month. but it's all good ... peace of mind. and there's still plenty of time for the fuel pump to go.