faking it

usually it's turkey, but today it was tuna. i guess i was feeling crazy. that's me, you know ... unpredictable, spontaneous, on the edge, wild.

there are few things worse than tuna that tastes too much like tuna. they include but are not limited to that useless meeting i attended last week, people who use the word "irregardless," spinach, and old, grungy currency that you get at full service gas stations. believe me ... always make sure you have exact change for those places because you don't want to wind up somewhere in west virginia with a taped-together, greasy five dollar bill in your hand that you can't set down because your car is clean except for some dog hair floating around. and just forget about eating the rest of the chex mix unless you have easily-accessible hand sanitizer.

what would i prefer the tuna tasted like? mayo. or pepper. or the bread it's on. or a non-fish version of tuna. that's it ... imitation tuna. is that such a bad idea? you can already buy imitation crab, butter, eggs, milk, and orange juice (what do you think Sunny Delight is?). why not tuna? if starkist makes it right, it'll have the same packaging, consistency, and bone inclusion as real tuna. the only difference will be that it's not naturally fishy. speaking of naturally fishy, what was the deal with that guy at sharky's the other nite? yikes.

good thing i had a bag of baked lays to go with the sub ... or should i call them imitation potato chips? i am totally on a roll.