my christmas letter

dear friends, family, and random internet people who must have taken a wrong turn,

guess what? you're not getting a christmas card this year. this shouldn't come as too much of a surprise since you've probably never received a christmas card from me. if you're lucky, you got a birthday card. if you're really lucky, it arrived no later than two months after your birthday. alicia's birthday card is still in my car ... that's where it was when she came to visit in november. i'd like to take this opportunity to wish everyone a very happy birthday!

welcome to my christmas letter. not only does it save postage and wear and tear on your local mail carrier, it doesn't obligate you to hang it in the threshold or on the fridge or display it in any way. however, if you're inclined to print it and tape it to something, i won't argue with you ... christmas is a time of peace.

the ending of 2003 marks the beginning of my fifth year working as either a technical writer or a communications specialist. pick one. this milestone is significant because i get an extra week of vacation without having to buy it. looks like i've fulfilled my long-term career goal and need to think up a new one. maybe it'll have something to do with ranching or upholstery or getting to work before 8.30.

as i reflect on the year, i'm having trouble remembering anything before september. i blame hurricane isabel. as a matter of fact, i haven't eaten a nilla wafer or a wheat thin since then. is that the kind of thing people reading a christmas letter want to know? i have no idea.

let's see, may marked my first anniversary as a homeowner and august marked my first anniversary living in the home that i'd owned since the previous may. as a result, i appear to be very responsible. i even have a lawnmower that i only use on days when the neighbor's kids are nowhere to be found. no, you cannot ride it until you're old enough to operate it. and you can't come in the house either. because it's mine. sure, sit on the porch swing.

so! i think that's enough info to get you up to speed. if you don't agree, please feel free to read through the archives. especially the november archive, or as i like to call it: the best writing on the internet.

have a safe and happy holiday season ... don't drink and drive ... or run with scissors ... for crying out loud, are you trying to kill your sister?

merry christmas and all the best,
-jody :)

p.s. if you go on a cruise, get an outside room. merely glancing in an inside cabin will make you claustrophobic. did you know that an irrational fear of clowns is called "coulrophobia"? i read that somewhere.