in line

i bought a book of stamps from the concierge this afternoon. it saved me from standing in a line with eager christmas card senders who are also eager to bestow best wishes on everyone in the tri-cities area. i'm not entirely sure which cities make up that area, but weather and radio people say it all the time. when i lived in PA, they said, "tri-state area" and i knew that meant PA, ohio, and new york because we lived in the little nubbin part of PA that's close to parts of those other states. i suppose if we had lived in eastern PA, the tri-state area would have been PA, jersey, and maryland. but i don't know anything about that.

she didn't have any run-of-the mill american flag stamps that i usually get out of the ATM, so i had my choice of ogden nash, dancing santa, reptiles, or a stamp commemorating something i didn't hear because she introduced it as "more expensive than a typical stamp." does that mean you can reuse it or send heavier envelopes with it? no. typically if you buy a more expensive model of something, it includes extra features that make your life easier. DVD/VCR combos are a lot cheaper than they were last year at this time ... and who the hell is ogden nash*?

i chose the santas and successfully avoided the aforementioned possessed-by-the-holiday-spirit people, breaking even in my effort to convince myself that i'm not the grinch. the good news is that i made it to subway moments before the woman who ordered seven sandwiches. at least she wanted all of them to be the same. apparently movers aren't picky as long as they eat. one time i got behind a guy who was ordering for the office. he kept the list concealed until it was his turn and by then we'd all been standing there too long to go somewhere else. unless the somewhere else was mcdonald's, and that's not up for consideration.

i used my check card for the transaction and in accordance with some law the concierge was required to note my address. i was happy to oblige. here's this week's poll: do i live on forest avenue or do i live on forrest avenue? people ask me that all the time. maybe i should change the spelling of my avenue in honor of the gump enthusiasts. for some reason this reminds me of the day finetta and i stood outside the auditorium checking people into the town hall sessions and telling them food and beverages weren't permitted inside. there were six sessions.

unsuspecting guy: "not even water?"

finetta before session four [tetchily]: "is water a beverage?"

then i watched a woman force a 20-ounce bottle of water into her purse.

*calm down, i'm totally kidding.