a-(corn)maze-ing

you never think you're the kind of person who'd scream when things jump out at you in a dark cornfield until you've actually had things jump out at you in a dark cornfield. of the four of us, i screamed the most. maybe it was because i had the most suppressed stress and needed an outlet ... most likely it was because i was the biggest chicken.

but that's not the point, is it? the point is that mandy was stunning yesterday and every step she took was in grace. her husband led our pack and consequentially had his back to her the entire time, but i'm sure her modishness was no surprise to him; brad and i, however, were awed. there was something about the way she tromped through the corn, tried to bribe the guy sitting near the exit to tell us where the exit was, and danced in the strobe light by the electric chair ... incredible.

"don't touch me!"

it started with a hand check in an unlit barn: monsters jumped from the wall, mandy screamed, the assailant threw his hands in the air, shawn chuckled guiltily, mandy punched shawn, and the adventure through the maze began.

"shawn, slow down! jody's getting scared."

we think it took us an hour to get through the whole thing. shawn led, followed closely by mandy, me, and brad. we were a human chain when it came to passing through the pitch dark tunnels, and we stayed relatively close together the rest of the time ... except when shawn started power walking and brad slowed down to let monsters sneak up on me ... nice. dude, i thought we were friends.

"jody, no hitting!"

over time, we developed a rapport with many of the ghouls and monsters running around. one of them was particularly unsettling, not because of the make-up or dark clothes or the way he jumped out of nowhere, but because he was right up in my face. you're not allowed to hit anyone working there, but there was nothing in the rules that said you couldn't shove people ... and this guy totally asked for it.

"shawn rolled a 20 in wilderness lore."

... but he didn't have mandy's negotiation skills. two shiny pennies and a coupon for a small drink at mcd's will typically get anyone to do anything. it didn't work this time, and we ended up running into the guy in my face again.

eventually we found the web's exit and emerged from the corn shivering, sniffling, laughing, trying (to no avail) to warm our hands, and picking on shawn. he claimed he knew the way the whole time ... he just wanted us to get our money's worth ... and we definitely did ...

my feet are still frozen.