late in the fourth year of the new millennium in the records of men, the dark mistress isabel unleashed her wrath on the sullen people of the eastern shore. the attack caused saccharine weather reporters to wield microphones and transform into hard-hitting news casters.
unwisely, these creatures stood in the heart of peril, attempting to stand and to broadcast the turmoil to hundreds of thousands of people in their viewing areas who, i do not attempt to deny, were more interested in banishing the rotted food from their increasingly warm refrigerators than watching a bunch of idiots stand amidst forests of falling trees and power lines.
anyway! darkness fell upon the land, and tho the siege was over, scores of men, women, and halflings were left hungry and immobile and at the mercy of the deliberate work ethic of dominion virginia power.
it was then that king george, son of george, and governor warner, son of his father, arrived to proclaim a state of emergency and to bestow the promise of riches on clean-up crews and government laborers. following the announcement, they jetted off to less desolate and depressing lands to tell others of the welfare of the east and probably to say stuff like “sucks to be those people” behind closed doors.
as fortune dictated, those other lands aided in the restoration of power and water to the villages, eventually returning precious light and joyful days to the lives of the people in the east.
IHOP wasn’t serving beverages other than cranberry juice, but the commonage was free to feast on all the pancakes and omelets they desired. fast food was again fast, tho always questionably food, and there was much celebration. and it was just in time for the new fall season.
much that was lost is now restored; through unwavering despair, the world of men endures.
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