throwing money

i don't know about you, but i think saving the planet is a good idea. whether global warming is a human-induced problem or something that's happening naturally -- whatever. if we can at least try to fix it, let's at least try to fix it.

we don't really want to be extinct, do we? i realize the nightly news does nothing but report contradictions of what is probably a negative answer to that question, but from the perspective of "life in general" isn't it in our own best interest to keep on keepin' on?

face it, if life ceases to exist on planet earth either next year, the year after or 274 years after, there'll be nothing cool to do around here anymore ... no netflix, no black friday, no corn mazes, no public wayne newton appearances.

bor - ing

to melodramatically quote a melodramatic fake president, "we are faced with the gravest of challenges ... and yet, for the first time in the history of the planet, a species has the technology to prevent its own extinction."

fab! so, what can we do? well, the tree huggers say we should drive hybrid cars, replace all of our light bulbs and generally be more energy efficient. they probably also think that we should live in totally organic, self-sufficient communities where we weave our own clothes, grow our own food and fall asleep around campfires with the furry, friendly woodland creatures who also pitch in. come on.

i like the idea of replacing incandescent light with fluorescent. it's not flattering, nor is it cheap, but it does do ... i don't know, something good i guess. i also like the idea of hybrid cars ... they don't accelerate very quickly, nor are they cheap but they emit toxins that aren't quite as damaging as the ones other cars emit. and i like the idea of being energy efficient because that means i get a tax break on the expensive heat pump i had to install last year. it says "energy efficient" all over it, man.

clearly, i don't understand the subtleties when it comes to saving the planet, but i still want to help. fortunately, the tree huggers have a solution for people like me; however, i don't understand it either.

to continue the fake president's words, "all of you praying with us need to know that everything that can be done to prevent this disaster is being called into service."

• the goal: reduce carbon emissions
• the plan: give away your money

wait ... what? this makes me think of the early days of medicine: we'll open this vein and you'll feel 100% better. or, even better, it's like being catholic.

adultery you say? that's a million hail mary's and a generous donation to the diocese.

sooooo ... driving an SUV might not be as punishable as adultery, but stretch with me please.

i don't think i'll be contributing to the carbon fund ... it feels too much like some kind of money laundering and it can't produce very good karma -- it's ok that i have smokestack in my backyard b/c i write a check to mother earth every month.

awesome ... way to get involved, john mayer.