don't even try to beat 'em anymore

this has already happened to you, i'm sure: you're innocently sitting at a red light. some loser who has giant speakers in his trunk pulls up next to you. no matter how loudly you curse, all you can hear is the constant thudding, and your own car is quivering along.

this hasn't happened to you yet, but it could: you're driving thru DC and manage to run a red light. a police car that sounds like it's some loser who has giant speakers in his trunk pulls up behind you. all you can hear despite your cursing is the constant thudding, and your own car is quivering along.

it's called the rumbler and it's law enforcement's new way of getting you to pull over when you've committed a traffic violation. apparently our nation's ADD has gotten so bad that we're failing to notice when the police are trying to flag us down.

lights are no longer enough.

sirens are no longer enough.

we need to be shaken into consciousness.

we're so busy being stuck in the bubble that is our world, we can't be troubled to pay attention to outside forces. but, are we handling it the right way?

the rumbler was created, essentially, to get us to put down our cell phones. we like to be in constant contact with at least one other human, so we must always be talking or texting -- and if it puts those around us at risk, so be it. right?

call me crazy, but i thought that was the kind of activity the police were supposed to help prevent.

you know, "reckless driving."

instead, they're going to allow you, fearless driver, to text the person sitting in the backseat of your car while you have your iPod headphones on at full tilt. these are acceptable driving procedures. but if you add 75 in a 65 to that list, consider yourself rumbled.

that's assuming, of course, that you're not one of those losers with the giant speakers in your trunk. in that case, you should be tasered.

i could be wrong, but i think val's brother once got a ticket because his car radio was too loud. he should ask for his money back.