this may qualify as cause to ration my toothpaste

today i learned an important lesson about homeland security:

it's not about how much liquid or gel is in the container; its about the size of the container that holds the liquid or gel.

what? is this for real? why didn't anyone say that in the first place?

what this tells me is that if i were to pack liquid explosives in my carry on baggage (really ... why would i ever want to do that? i have a puppy, and i want her to see me grow old), i could get away with filling a quart-sized bag with little bottles full of explosive material as long as those bottles held no more than 3.4 ounces of said material. when you account for the space the bottle takes up and some air, you could probably squeeze about 18 ounces of actual liquid into that bag.

i don't know anything about explosives ... but does that sound like a lot? it sounds like kind of a lot.

don't worry ... i'm not thinking about doing anything destructive. unless, of course, having friends over for dinner this weekend counts as harmful ... actually, the jury's still out on that. i'm simply irritated that, without giving me a chance to fully explain my side, the patronizing TSA agent removed my toothpaste from my one-quart ziploc bag and threw it in the garbage can behind her while i was putting my shoes back on.


"ma'am, you can't have this toothpaste. you just can't," she said opening the bag and removing the rolled up tube.

"but there's only a little bit left ... less than any of the other liquids in the bag."

"it's too much toothpaste. see how big the tube is? you can't have it."

"i see," and i watched it go into the trash.

"have a nice flight."

"thanks."


sodding terrorists. don't they know how expensive airport toothpaste is?