i was at my grandmother's house and for some reason zoey couldn't be anywhere but in the middle of the street. i threw buckets and buckets of water on her and she still wanted to jump on grandma.
the next thing i knew, i was in a classroom full of 7-year-olds, waiting for my turn to give a presentation. all the kids were phenomenal and i was at my wit's end with nervousness. finally, it was my turn. i stood up (as i'd been sitting in one of those miniature plastic chairs that 7-year-olds sit in ... you know what i'm talking about) and went to the front of the class.
boy, were they small. the moment i noticed a microphone in my hand was the moment i decided to do a stand-up routine. i don't remember what my first joke was, but a kid in the front had a question. i answered it. everyone laughed.
another question. i answered that one, too. i was on a popularity roll.
then a hand went up in the back and the guy dressed like an indian started, i'm not kidding, grilling me about "brine on the floor of the school busses." suddenly i'm the school board? i tried to answer ... really tried ... everyone had stopped laughing and having fun. i couldn't come up with a satisfying answer. i was drowning.
it was that dream again where i jump in the pool and, as i'm swimming to the surface, realize something has my ankle. i'm close enough that my hands are in the air, but i just can't go any further.
panic set in then i heard the national anthem.
see, what happened was the phone rang at 5.30 and ended the peaceful sleep i'd been enjoying. for a moment, i thought it was rob actually being serious, and he was going to hear about it ... but it turned out to be a wrong number, and, apparently, i didn't quite recover.
damn that brenda! and i'm not george chapman either ... so if you work for student loan services, please give it a rest.
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