why i cried in altoona

there are a lot of reasons ... but it's hard to really nail them down.

i get the feeling that it had something to do with the day we dropped aaron off at case. sure, we were there for a couple days of orientation and roommate, clark, and dan introduction ... but after all that. when his bed was made and his clothes were unpacked and all the guys were grouping up to go to the quad or something ... he went through one door and we went through another.

it was uncomfortable for a minute. actually, it was uncomfortable for more than a minute. how could he just turn and walk away? how could we? it wasn't like i was never going to see him again. i knew i would ... probably before thanksgiving. but what would it be like? would it be the same? would he be the same? would i?

i'd grown to love normal.

part of it was jealousy. you can't watch someone you love take such a big step in his life without wondering when or if you're going to take a similar step. think of what he's going to experience and who he's going to experience it with. how can you not want to do that, too?

another part was excitement. you can't watch someone you love take such a big step in his life without wondering what he's going to learn, where he's going to go, who he's going to meet, who he's going to become, and what he's going to teach you.

normal would be redefined, but it would remain normal.

so i cried. on interstate 90 from cleveland to albion. growing pains do that to you no matter how grown up you think you are. perfectly and naturally healthy, they pass eventually, but always manage to leave a mark ... a soft spot or a scar or a callous ... maybe something breaks.
it's all for the better. can't you see how far you've come?