good news! in a merchandising ploy 50 years in the making, mattel has announced the launch of a real-person line of barbie clothing sure to please girls of all ages and make buying a swimsuit even more annoying.
"this doesn't make me look like barbie."
soon, for prices that would probably make donald trump think twice, you'll be able to fill your closet with everything that's pink and skimpy and frilly and can only be worn with high heels. i know what you're thinking: why would donald trump want to dress like barbie? well, who are you to judge anyone?
personally, i think it's a great idea. i already spend close to $200 every year on jeans [that actually fit], and i hope all clothing prices spike to compete with mattel. maybe then i'll finally be able to spend thousands of dollars a year on my wardrobe. another benefit? all of the clothing will probably have that big, red mattel logo on it somewhere. how trendy! if barbie were here right now, she'd be almost clapping her hands in excitement. we all know her arms don't bend that way.
i just hope that the clothing is well made and fastens at the back with more than just a giant strip of velcro or a solitary enormous snap or a ribbon tied at the waist. i remember the first (and last) pair of barbie sneakers i owned. barbie is constantly on her toes, so i didn't see the point. was there traction anywhere but on the balls of her feet? if so, why? so i gave up on those and usually went with the boots because they stayed on better than all the strappy heels and they were hard to lose in the carpeting ... or god forbid we were outside.
barbie sure looked good in her valentine's day gown and those streamlined white boots. ken was always embarrassed. maybe that's why they broke up.
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