is it just me, or does anyone else see the problem with drug manufacturers gratuitously hawking their goods directly to the general public? shouldn't they be trying to impress the medical care providers of the world? it seems to me that lipitor's marketing department didn't consider a target audience when they masterminded their plan. and! why can't i watch a football game without seeing a commercial warning the world about the apparently widespread crisis that is erectile dysfunction?
guys ... come on ... what the hell is going on?
granted, lots of us probably get headaches and heartburn. unless we're alicia ... if that's the case, we only get heartburn when we're pregnant. we may even have muscle aches, the flu, or a nasty cough.
yes. those are pretty basic and affect a good percentage of us. says me ... i don't have the numbers handy. i'd even go as far as including migraines in that list because i know people who've had them.
gosh ... insomnia, you say? that's right on the line. i'm sure lots of people suffer from it, but i'm also sure we have too many "cures" for it. you may try over-the-counter but end up having to talk to your doctor.
but what about meningitis? if you have meningitis are you going to trust your doctor to prescribe the right treatment or are you going to demand your treatment based on a commercial that aired during "how i met your mother?" you know, the one that was sandwiched between the ads for the latest pizza hut deal and bleach.
you also have serious decisions to make about restless leg syndrome, overactive bladder (a.k.a. frequent bladder urges ... we all have internal plumbing), peripheral artery disease, genital herpes, acid reflux disease, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, enlarged prostate, and depression.
what? is most of the country afflicted by these? i feel so left out.
so! today i'm staying up until 3 a.m. and occasionally spinning myself around ... that should get me caught up on a few side effects.
November 19, 2006
October 27, 2006
ends with a migraine
he'd walked into the bathroom and stepped on a wet towel. the next thing he knew, his face hit porcelain and he couldn't feel anything.
now he was lying on a stretcher begging that they not cut his sweater [please don't cut this sweater off me] and his pain was a twelve on a scale of one to ten.
after x-rays, collars and pain medications the room cleared and he was left with the constant beeping that sounded like it was emanating from his own head.
enter the receptionist with her white shoes, clipboard, and the following questions:
now he was lying on a stretcher begging that they not cut his sweater [please don't cut this sweater off me] and his pain was a twelve on a scale of one to ten.
after x-rays, collars and pain medications the room cleared and he was left with the constant beeping that sounded like it was emanating from his own head.
enter the receptionist with her white shoes, clipboard, and the following questions:
- can you confirm your name?
- what's your home phone number?
- do you have a living will?
- what's your religion preference?
or, in terms chris can understand:
- emergency room: "ouch, my head." "priest?"
September 22, 2006
HOLD IT: unrest declares indefinite hiatus
it's a good thing that baby boomers either don't listen to pop music or are starting to go deaf.
denise treated me to a concert not too long ago: sheryl crow and john mayer. had ms. crow taken the stage first, we'd already made a pact to leave before mr. mayer's act. as it turned out, tho, their order was switched and we had to stay.
after mayer lulled us to the brink of hibernation, crow took the stage to conduct her own personal version of an anti-war demonstration, which didn't seem to mesh with denise's headache. war is not the answer, ya know. then we got lost on the back roads of manassas for a half hour, but still managed to beat her sister and brother-in-law in the race back home.
anyway! john mayer made the teenagers swoon and the adults yawn. as aaron pointed out before we even left, "isn't he the guy whose songs all sound the same?" turns out he is. "1....2....3....4....1....2....3....4....1....2....3....4....," he sang. then came "it's time to rock this place!" girls screamed and we got, "1....2....3....4....1....2....3....4...."
on the journey up, i remember telling denise that i really wasn't much john mayer fan ... i'd only ever heard the songs that are played on the radio over and over and over again, and i thought i liked his newest release. it wasn't until i heard it in concert that i realized my true feelings about his newest song.
if i like a song the first time i hear it, it's because of the actual music part ... melodies, harmonies, beats, etc. once i decided those are fun, i start paying attention to the words.
my original intention was to share with you only a few of the most unbelievable lines. honestly, i found it difficult to delete anything. enjoy.
me and all my friends
we're all misunderstood
they say we stand for nothing and
there's no way we ever could
now we see everything that's going wrong
with the world and those who lead it
we just feel like we don't have the means
to rise above and beat it
so we keep waiting
waiting on the world to change
we keep on waiting
waiting on the world to change
it's hard to beat the system
when we're standing at a distance
so we keep waiting
waiting on the world to change
now if we had the power
to bring our neighbors home from war
they would have never missed a Christmas
no more ribbons on their door
and when you trust your television
what you get is what you got
cause when they own the information, oh
they can bend it all they want
so we keep waiting
waiting on the world to change
we keep on waiting
waiting on the world to change
it's not that we don't care,
we just know that the fight ain't fair
so we keep on waiting
waiting on the world to change
one day our generation
is gonna rule the population
so we keep on waiting
waiting on the world to change
we keep on waiting
waiting on the world to change
what the hell? i certainly hope young people aren't hearing this. i hope his mumbled, droning words aren't getting through. maybe no one's listening and dj's will immediately stop playing it. maybe he wrote it in great haste, meant to change the lyrics before recording it but forgot.
or maybe not. maybe the teeny boppers are listening. maybe they're deciding that it's more comfortable to listen to an iPod than it is to sing out loud. maybe the limbs of disinterest are stretching. maybe we should be listening to the curious george soundtrack instead:
Who's to say
I can't do everything
Well I can try
And as I roll along I begin to find
Things aren't always just what they seem
I wanna turn the whole thing upside down
I'll find the things they say just can't be found
I'll share this love I find with everyone
We'll sing and dance to Mother Nature's songs
This world keeps spinning and there's no time to waste
Will it all keep spinning spinning round and round
so ... you say you want a revolution? well, ya know, we all want to change the world.
er, wait ...
denise treated me to a concert not too long ago: sheryl crow and john mayer. had ms. crow taken the stage first, we'd already made a pact to leave before mr. mayer's act. as it turned out, tho, their order was switched and we had to stay.
after mayer lulled us to the brink of hibernation, crow took the stage to conduct her own personal version of an anti-war demonstration, which didn't seem to mesh with denise's headache. war is not the answer, ya know. then we got lost on the back roads of manassas for a half hour, but still managed to beat her sister and brother-in-law in the race back home.
anyway! john mayer made the teenagers swoon and the adults yawn. as aaron pointed out before we even left, "isn't he the guy whose songs all sound the same?" turns out he is. "1....2....3....4....1....2....3....4....1....2....3....4....," he sang. then came "it's time to rock this place!" girls screamed and we got, "1....2....3....4....1....2....3....4...."
on the journey up, i remember telling denise that i really wasn't much john mayer fan ... i'd only ever heard the songs that are played on the radio over and over and over again, and i thought i liked his newest release. it wasn't until i heard it in concert that i realized my true feelings about his newest song.
if i like a song the first time i hear it, it's because of the actual music part ... melodies, harmonies, beats, etc. once i decided those are fun, i start paying attention to the words.
my original intention was to share with you only a few of the most unbelievable lines. honestly, i found it difficult to delete anything. enjoy.
me and all my friends
we're all misunderstood
they say we stand for nothing and
there's no way we ever could
now we see everything that's going wrong
with the world and those who lead it
we just feel like we don't have the means
to rise above and beat it
so we keep waiting
waiting on the world to change
we keep on waiting
waiting on the world to change
it's hard to beat the system
when we're standing at a distance
so we keep waiting
waiting on the world to change
now if we had the power
to bring our neighbors home from war
they would have never missed a Christmas
no more ribbons on their door
and when you trust your television
what you get is what you got
cause when they own the information, oh
they can bend it all they want
so we keep waiting
waiting on the world to change
we keep on waiting
waiting on the world to change
it's not that we don't care,
we just know that the fight ain't fair
so we keep on waiting
waiting on the world to change
one day our generation
is gonna rule the population
so we keep on waiting
waiting on the world to change
we keep on waiting
waiting on the world to change
what the hell? i certainly hope young people aren't hearing this. i hope his mumbled, droning words aren't getting through. maybe no one's listening and dj's will immediately stop playing it. maybe he wrote it in great haste, meant to change the lyrics before recording it but forgot.
or maybe not. maybe the teeny boppers are listening. maybe they're deciding that it's more comfortable to listen to an iPod than it is to sing out loud. maybe the limbs of disinterest are stretching. maybe we should be listening to the curious george soundtrack instead:
Who's to say
I can't do everything
Well I can try
And as I roll along I begin to find
Things aren't always just what they seem
I wanna turn the whole thing upside down
I'll find the things they say just can't be found
I'll share this love I find with everyone
We'll sing and dance to Mother Nature's songs
This world keeps spinning and there's no time to waste
Will it all keep spinning spinning round and round
so ... you say you want a revolution? well, ya know, we all want to change the world.
er, wait ...
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