a bruise and tight jeans

as the the temporary scarring and the memory of the trauma fade, i'm regaining trust in my slippers and i'm carrying my cell phone with me at [almost] all times.
a few weeks ago, i was surprised to discover that my house has so many stairs. tho i'd only gone careening down six or seven of them, it felt more like 45 or 50. i also discovered that at the precise moment i found myself in more physical danger than i had in nearly 30 years, there wasn't a light of any kind, there were no happy memory flashbacks, nor was there a mental slideshow of my loved ones. there was darkness and i remember thinking, "how many fucking steps can there possibly be?"

and they're all wooden. the majority of the house is carpeted while the minority is made up of the kitchen, bathrooms, and, yes, staircase. even the landing (no pun intended) is naught but a square of linoleum. the house was built in '91, so that part makes sense.

at the journey's end, i decided to rest. i took five minutes to determine whether i was alive or dead, and the next five to speculate about whether i was ever going to walk again. then the phone rang, but i let it go to voicemail. i was sure i'd never walk again and, therefore, in no big hurry. i wouldn't know the full extent of my injuries until two days later when i realized i was bruised from my ankle to my elbow.

after the 10 minutes of assessing and cussing, i miraculously stood and walked in a small circle. testing. then i looked to the top of the staircase where zoey stood, barely wagging her tail. she typically associates loud noises and lots of swearing with something she's done wrong. however, i only had myself to blame ... and my aptly named slippers.

the good news is that most of the shattered glass stayed where it landed, choosing not to follow me ... and if you're looking to purchase tableware that can be thrown down flights of stairs, i recommend corel. yard sale corel if at all possible.

oh, don't worry about me. it was hard to walk and lay down, sit, and stand back up and get in and out of the car for about a week, and the bruise rainbow was particularly spectacular, but all is back to normal. not only can i walk, but i can also rest my elbow on a pillow without the shooting pain. there are a dozen stairs and now i count them every time.

many thanks to alicia for scaring me into taking aspirin whether i thought i needed it or not ... the fall may not have killed me but the clot certainly could have.