there's a double meaning in that

i saw a commercial for something - i don't know what ... maybe comcast? it all kind of blurs together these days. anyway, in the commercial there's a TV that's flipping, flipping, flipping through channels, and the person flipping is lucky enough that what's being said on the next channel builds perfectly on what was said on the previous one ... and put together, there's a cohesive thought. amazing!

it's like when you're watching NBC and you turn to CBS and both stations are showing the same commercial and it's in the same place.

no, it's not really like that at all. but you know what i mean.

i don't have cable, but i do have a whopping 6 channels so i thought i'd try my luck at flipping channels in search of something rational.

here's what i got:

"they go to the movies ok anne marie *music* it's the largest frame i've ever seen you painted over the i'm all for that besides college already i don't think i am jesus loves me look at the hair."

i haven't figured out all of the punctuation yet ... but i think i'm on to something.

have mercy

the van next to me could not have expressed my thoughts any more perfectly.

when i got in my car this morning, i discovered that i only had enough gas to get to work. for the first two miles of my commute, i debated stopping at the local petrol station and decided to, as nike would say, just do it since i likely wouldn't want to on my way home when i was hungry and it was 100 degrees out and all i wanted to do was wash my hair.

a creature of habit, i go to the same station 90% of the time. you may be able to imagine my surprise at hearing a booming voice yelling at me from a tiny speaker about the benefits of gas cards and fountain drinks the moment my card was accepted … "did you know that right now you could be earning valuable points toward your next gas purchase?!?"

whose idea was this? are we so dependent on media that we can't enjoy a semi-peaceful moment pumping gas without suffering through a commercial for the station we're currently patronizing?

fortunately, i spied the mute button on the obnoxious speaker. unfortunately, i pressed it. all that awarded me was a beep to accompany all the yelling. actually, it awarded me about a dozen beeps because i couldn't figure out why someone would install a mute button if they didn't intend for it to mute things. it's like at work when IT installs something that requires a reboot … you get the message that says "you must restart your computer in order for the changes to take effect. would you like to restart now?" and the "no" is grayed out.

eventually my tank filled and i reentered the sanctuary of my car where i enjoyed the relative quiet for a moment before turning on chrome.

as i drove away, i noticed the big white van two pumps over. it had dark blue stenciling that simply read, "CHRIST."

it is done

in only 3.5 months, i watched the chronology of james bond. for the most part, it was extremely enjoyable ... tho, there was a time in the roger moore stint that made me weary, which was expected.

in 007 film, there are a bunch of elements you can count on:

• an insane villain bent on world domination (or economic destruction ... you know, that kind of thing)
• a double-cross
• puns in the face of doom
• skiing, boating and/or scuba diving
• a fancy watch
• exotic locations
• exotic women
• gambling
• sharks!

for me, tho, the real quality of the film relies heavily on the quality of the bond. here's how i rank the leading men and, therefore, their respective movies:

1. pierce brosnan
2. george lazenby
3. sean connery
4. timothy dalton
5. roger moore
6. daniel craig

there's actually a very small margin separating 1-4, and depending on my mood they can change. however, 5 and 6 are solid.

... and i know what you're going to say: "you're just saying you didn't like daniel craig because he has blonde hair and blue eyes."

in the words of my grandfather, i say: "rubbish!"

i didn't like daniel craig because he didn't open his mouth when he spoke and he displayed all the zest and charm of a stop sign. he would have been awesome if james bond was more like ... i don't know ... the terminator. or robocop. i definitely vote for him in the robocop remakes - altho he'll probably have to out audition peter weller for it, and runs an excellent chance of losing anyway.

bond is an action hero, but he's more than an action hero. he is also more than a suave bottle of charm, which no one told moore. had someone put him and craig in a blender, they would have ended up with a pretty decent bond. but that's not actually necessary as long as brosnan is around.

next up: the muppet show season 1!

just some good 'ol boys

i'm sitting at the light on the corner of route 156 and a million campaign signs remembering that june 12 is an election day. how exciting will the election be? well, i'll tell you.

the county is looking for a commonwealth's attorney this time around and the candidates are relentless. three of them are fighting over this particular corner, which quite frankly isn't the busiest of corners. it's kind of hidden in back roads wooded suburbia. the candidates must live nearby. yeah, i'm sure it's near the homes of ...

kirby, rusty and trip.

it's definitely a local race, eh? it's also a good thing i don't live in that county. i wouldn't know who to write-in ...

maybe buck, skippy or mac.

or carl.

or goober.